I am HER... Read online

  Smiling, Z says, "I'm 6'3. Not too tall, not too short. Does my height bother you?"

  "Yes. Ah, I mean... well, yes. You're a whole foot taller than me. So yes, your height intimidates me a little. Well, a lot, actually. God, I can't stop babbling."

  "I think it's endearing. Just relax. Wash me or don't. I'm not going to move, I promise." And then he closes his eyes and exhales.

  Okay. Touch him. You have a scrunchie. It's not like your hands are touching him. Just do it!

  Slowly, my arm lifts, and I feel myself circling Z's shoulders and neck. This isn't so bad. He's not moving, just like he promised. Moving down his chest, I'm shocked by the sheer size of him. He's not largely muscular, but he's got that whole 'lean and toned' thing going for him. He feels nice. His chest is very nice. I actually like the feel of his chest muscles. Wow. He seems strong like this.

  Moving down to his stomach, I find I'm stunned by his erection. It’s just so there. I can't stop staring at it. It's bigger than Marcus', so it'll hurt more, and it's a bit darker than Marcus' as well. Suddenly, I want to touch it. I'm just so curious what it feels like.

  "Can I touch you, there?" What. The. HELL? Did I just ask that?

  "Please..." Holy shit. His voice sounds so sexy right now.

  "I don't really know how."

  "Touch however you want; I doubt you'll hurt me." He says with a grin. So, grabbing his erection, Z abruptly steps back a foot, and groans.

  "Ah, maybe you will hurt me. A little softer, Sweetheart. I AM attached to it." Oh. Ooops.

  I burst out laughing. Oh my GOD! I'm laughing and still holding it in my hands.

  "I'm sorry..." but I'm still kind of laughing and still holding it. LET GO!

  "A Sadist, huh? I never would have thought it of you." More laughter.

  "No, of course not. I just didn't know how hard to touch it. Marcus uses his as a brutal weapon, so I thought I had to touch you hard, too..." Still laughing, I notice Z is very still and his face looks all tight or something.

  "What? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you. I knew I shouldn't have touched you, I knew I would be bad at it..."

  Get out of the shower! Turning from him, I try to leave the shower, but Z grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me close to his chest, essentially folding his erection up my back.

  "You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. I'm not mad at you. I just hate knowing what your sexual experience is like. I wish I could erase all that for you. To be honest, I fucking hate your husband." Oh.

  "Ah, Z, can we please not go there again? I really shouldn't have said anything, and I really don't want to talk about it again. Okay? Please."

  There is total silence, but for the water falling around us.

  "Will you let me kiss you?" He finally asks.

  "Yes, please."

  Turning me back toward him, Z bends down, a lot actually, and kisses me gently. His lips are so soft, and his breath is still minty, and I love this feeling. Being here actually feels good. Before I'm even aware of it, I've risen on my tip-toes and with arms wrapped around his shoulders, I'm pulling him to my mouth harder. I love, love, LOVE this! Kissing Z is the best anything I've ever had.

  "Can we get out of here?" He breathes into my mouth.

  "Yes, please."

  After reaching behind me, to turn the taps off, the silence is suddenly very loud in my ears, and I really want clothes, but I try very hard to control any panic from surfacing. I'm doing quite well in fact.

  Stepping out of the shower, Z kisses me again, and grabs for a towel to wrap me in. Covering his hips in a towel, Z takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom.

  Oh, my, god. Is this it? I hope so. Please don't do anything wrong. Please don't say anything wrong. Please, please, please...

  Z stops beside the bed, and kisses me again. This kiss is fantastic as well. Oh, I could just eat his lips. I want to devour him. Huh. That's new. I don't feel like cringing with Z.

  "Come lie down with me. I want you in my arms for a little while. I need to talk to you.”

  Moving onto the bed, lying in Z’s opened arms, I ask timidly, “What is it?”

  “Sweetheart, I am NOT your husband. If you don't want something, or you don't like something, you MUST tell me. I won’t be angry, and I will stop immediately. Do you understand me?"

  "Yes, but..." Shut your mouth! Just lie down and keep quiet!

  "But what?"

  "Nothing. I just want to be good for you. That's all." Please let me be good at this.

  "Between us, there is only good. You are wonderful to me, and I hope to give you something wonderful in return."

  Don't cry. DO NOT CRY. Oh, no. I can't hold them in. Blink! Blink FASTER!! Dammit! I can’t blink fast enough and the tears are sliding down my temples.

  "Sweetheart?" God, Z sounds so concerned. It’s really a nice sound, one I am totally unfamiliar with.

  "There's nothing wrong. Your words are just really, really nice, that's all. You make me kind of happy, or something. No one asks about me. And no one is ever concerned for me, so it’s just nice, and strange for me, and, well, quite frankly, a little overwhelming at times to hear you sound like you’re concerned about anything to do with me. That’s all, I promise."

  "Well, just so you know, I plan to make you very happy..." What? Oh.

  Z takes my lips again. Moving me under him, he lies between my legs still wrapped in our towels. His kisses have a drugging effect. I don't really know what he's doing; it just seems okay when he's doing it. Feeling my towel pulled from my body is okay. I'm not panicking and I'm not too nervous.

  When his mouth leaves mine for a nipple, I suddenly grab his head and force him closer. Wow, that was aggressive, and I liked it. Oh, apparently Z did as well by the sound of his groan.

  Moving his hand down my stomach, he once again touches me there. There is no thrusting or impaling, just a light touching that actually feels kind of good. I like this.

  Opening me up a little with his fingers, Z slips one inside. Oh, that feels good too. I like this so far. Oh, he's moving again, kissing his way down my body. I like these little nips and kisses. They're sexy but not painful. I want to do that to his body too. I bet he likes it.

  When his mouth kisses me down there, I jump... and moan. That feels so good. I like his mouth on me there. My hands reach out and grab his head again. Pulling him in closer to my body, my hips seem to move on their own. I like this very much.

  Time seems to fade while he’s kissing and licking me there. I don't know if I've spoken or screamed. I can't hear or see. I don’t know how long Z has been pleasuring me. I just feel this, everywhere.

  When I'm at that point, when my legs are shaking, and I'm gasping for breath, Z suddenly works me harder with his mouth and hands; and I explode!

  Screaming and shaking, my whole world seems to just expand and then retract. And then… there is nothing. I am mindless and limp with the release.

  That was AWESOME! Even better than yesterday. Better than my shower head, better than anything I've ever felt before. It was just INCREDIBLE!

  "I'd like to be inside you Sweetheart when you cum again. Is that okay?"

  "Um, yes… of course." Dammit. Here's the end.

  "Sweetheart, stay with me. It's just you and me here. I'll be very slow and gentle, I promise."

  "I know you'll try, but you’re very big, bigger than him and he hurts me, and you'll hurt me, and I'm going to be bad at this..."

  "I'm NOT him, and you are good, AND you’re ready to be entered ... I made sure you were. But I’ll still be slow and gentle."

  "Okay. Whatever you want." Please be good at this for Z.

  "I have to grab a condom. Don't move, and don't think." Ha! When don't I think?

  Reaching to the side of the bed, Z pulls at his slacks and I hear him tear open a condom wrapper. Here we go. This is it. Shit. I'm scared, but a little excited too. Z seems different though. He seems like he might like a woman to enjoy this. He seems like he might W
ANT a woman to enjoy this. He seems like...

  "Sweetheart? Is this too much? Please tell me the truth."

  "No. I'm fine. I want to do this with you. I'm just nervous that I won't be very good, that's all. I think you'll be very good, and I don't really want to be bad for you."

  "Well, then. Let's do this together, and then we'll both be good at it. Okay?" With tears pooling in my eyes for his kind words, I can only nod.

  "Oh, love… you're breaking my heart. I can’t stand to see your beautiful eyes cry. Just kiss me for now."

  And I do. Kissing Z is soothing and though tears fall from the corners of my eyes, I'm not sad. I don't feel any sadness.

  I feel Z's lips on mine, and his hand between my legs, and his fingers entering me gently. I feel myself rocking against his hand, and my legs parting further for him. I feel his slow movement back between my legs, and his fingers still working me down there.

  I am surrounded by him, but amazingly, not overwhelmed by him. When he shifts slightly with his body at my opening I merely kiss him stronger. Z doesn't thrust into me, but rather uses a gentle rocking motion at my entrance. I feel a little tugging, but no actual pain. He is doing as he promised- he’s slow and gentle.

  When he finally breaches my body, we both seem to exhale into each other’s mouth.

  Giggling a little, I whisper, "Thank you..." as he smiles at me and kisses me again.

  Z rocks gently, slowly. He never really seems to speed up. I'm nervous that it isn't enough for him, but he seems to be enjoying himself.

  "You’re wonderful. So tight and soft inside. I could be with you for hours, if you'd let me..." Hours?

  "Is it enough for you? Can I do anything better?"

  "Just touch me and kiss me. That's all I need." Oh, I can do both those things.

  Bracing himself on his forearms beside my ribs, Z leans down and begins working my nipple with his mouth. Ahhhh that feels so good. He is doing that flicking sucking thing, and I feel it deep inside again.

  Moaning, my hips seem to move a little more. I'm almost moving against him. Oh, that feels better. I move against his slow movements. Annnnd I move some more.

  Moving a little faster against him, Z increases his movement as well. He never pulls out of me completely, so he never has to enter me again. Maybe that's the secret. Maybe that's what Marcus does differently. Maybe that's why Marcus’ sex is so painful.

  "How do you feel, Sweetheart? Are you okay? Comfortable?"

  "Oh, yes. I feel good, I'm very okay, and I'm more than comfortable," I say with a grin.

  "Really? Shall we try a little deeper now?" Deeper?

  "Okay..."

  Z kisses me once again, but I feel his left arm slide down and around my body. Lifting my butt slightly, he impales me just as slow, but definitely deeper. Oh. That feels good. I think I'm moaning again.

  "You like that. Shall we try some more movement?"

  "Please..."

  And this time when he lifts me and pushes in deep, Z does a kind of rotate thing against my pelvis.

  "Ohhh..." Yup. That was out loud. Blush. "Please do that again..." And he does.

  "Lift your legs, love. Wrap them around my waist."

  "Ahhhh, that feels good. Oh. Z, that's feels very good. I like that."

  "Do you want to cum soon?" Gulp. Huh? "Because I can get you there if you want... or we can just do this forever. I'm happy either way."

  "How do I do that? Tell me." Damn, I sound aggressive.

  "It's more about how I touch you, to bring you to orgasm. Would you like me to?"

  "Yessss..." Oh! My raspy voice again. Cool.

  "You please me very much, Sweetheart. You are simply breathtaking."

  Smiling... actually, I think I'm beaming, I tease, "Thank you Mr. Zinfandel, you're not too bad yourself."

  Bursting out laughing, Z kisses me hard. Oh, I love this kiss. There’s a bit of urgency to it, without the brutality. It's sexy. His tongue strokes my mouth, but he doesn't impale and gag me with it. He makes me want to kiss him.

  Suddenly, I almost buck him off me. WHAT DID HE JUST DO?! Oh, god... That felt really, REALLY good. Holding my breath, I try to stay still. I try, but it's too intense.

  "Breathe, Sweetheart. Does that feel good when I touch you like that?"

  "Yessss..." Holy shit! He did it again. Ahhhh...

  "Come on, love. Move with me. Feel the pleasure. You're so close. I can feel you gripping me inside you. I'm not going to last much longer with you doing that." He's smiling at me.

  "I'm sorry... I, oh god Z! Ahhhh..."

  Suddenly I'm frantic to hold him tightly to me. I'm almost crawling into him. Grabbing his shoulders, I'm pulling myself up his body. My hands are pulling at his skin. My head is deep in his chest. This is so intense, I can barely stand it.

  "Sweetheart, let go. Just feel. Feel me inside and outside you. Feel me."

  Shaking, my body seems to pull up tight. When Z touches me again with wet fingers down there, my whole body hardens. My breath stops. My arms and legs lock in place. My mind stops, and suddenly, everything just SNAPS!

  Screaming, my head is thrown backward, and my limbs go rigid, then limp. I am frozen and paralyzed. I am mindless.

  "Hold on, Sweetheart." And pushing into my limp body a couple more times, Z finally releases his hold, groans, and falls on top of my paralyzed body.

  Suddenly turning us, I find myself lying on Z's chest. His breathing is rapid, and his pulse is pounding, much like mine. He is sweat covered and sticky, kind of like me. He is still shaking and panting, just like me. We were together, and I was good.

  Bursting into tears on his chest, I whisper, "Thank you... I didn't know. I've n-never known. You are wonderful, and so good to me." And jumping up to his mouth, I kiss him in between repeated thank you's.

  Crying, I'm dripping tears all over his face and neck. Ew, gross.

  "Sorry for the tears..."

  "Not a problem, Sweetheart. Incidentally, you were wonderful, exciting, and very, very sexy. For all your worries, you are quite good at the whole 'sex thing'." Is he grinning?

  "Really?" God, I sound like an insecure loser, but I can't help but ask.

  "Yes, really. I feel like I made love with you today and I couldn't be happier. Did I hurt you at all?"

  "No! That's the best part. You were good, and you didn't need to hurt me."

  "Nobody needs to hurt you when making love. But are you sure? You were very tight, and though I did my best to prepare you, we did have sex for quite a while." We did? What time is it anyway? Oh, 10:38. He went over an hour! An hour?!

  "Wow. You, ah, can do that for a long time. An hour... um, good for you," I blush.

  Barking a laugh, Z smiles and says, "Actually, I lasted over an hour, but I could have gone much longer, if some little sex-kitten hadn't had a particularly stunning orgasm around me. That pretty much did me in."

  "Oh. Well… sorry then," I giggle.

  Pulling me closer, Z holds my head in one hand, and places the other on my butt, massaging it gently. This feels so nice. I'm really, quite happy here. I wonder how long the happiness will last. When will he go? How long do I have until he leaves me for New York or until he leaves forever, really?

  "Stop thinking, Sweetheart. This is the time for post-coital bliss, not life-changing decisions. We have time to figure this out. YOU have time to figure out all that you want, later."

  "What do we do now? I'm not sure how this works. You're my first 'One Night Stand'," I grin.

  "One night stand? Says who? I plan on feeding you, bathing you, and then introducing you to some of my other sexual talents. And after that, I'm going to feed you again, bathe you again, and maybe try for a third this afternoon..."

  "That's just this afternoon? Wow. I think I'm going to need lots of carbs today."

  "Yes, you will. And then we’ll talk about tonight... later. Okay? No obsessing right now. Just be with me. Can you do that? Please?"

  "I'll try." And then we just se
em to snuggle into each other.

  "Um, can you feed me soon though? I'm starving, especially after that particular work-out."

  "Absolutely. Did you want to eat in, or would you like to go out with me this fine, fine, Monday?" Um. Gulp.

  "I'm afraid of my parents, or Marcus finding me. I haven't listened to their voicemails, so I don't know how much trouble I'm in, or how bad it's going to be. Would you mind if we just stayed in for now? Please?"

  "Alright, for now. But I'm not going to hide, and you’re definitely not hiding anymore."

  "Yes, okay. After today, I won't hide. Thank you for letting me hide today though."

  "Oh, and I'll be listening to all those voice mails with you. Understood?"

  "Yes, Mr. Zinfandel."

  "It sounds very sexy when you say my name like that." Really?

  CHAPTER 15

  After begging like a child for Z to close his eyes, I manage to get out of the bed with the sheet covering me everywhere and head to the bathroom while he calls in our lunch order.

  Usually, the first pee after sex stings, but not today. Today, my body is slightly tender, like I've been well loved, but I’m not actually sore at all. There is no bleeding, and I don't have the heavy feeling on my chest of being hurt, which usually accompanies me after sex with Marcus. This is so wonderful, and I feel so good.

  Exiting the bathroom, I see Z on the phone, so I head for the closet. Getting dressed is difficult. What kind of day are we going to have? Slacks and light sweater should do. I can always dress these up or down, or just take them off as needed. Oh, I hope that's needed. Wow, I'm so dirty now. I didn't think I had it in me, but apparently there’s a little dirty girl in me somewhere. Cool.

  While heading back for the bathroom to change, Z motions with his hand for me to come to him. Walking over, he takes my hand and kisses the inside of my palm. Stunned at such an act of tenderness, I just freeze... That was the single most romantic thing anyone has EVER done to me. I'm stuck in a trance. I’m simply stunned.

  Z is talking to Tamara from the office apparently, but he smiles up at my expression. Mouthing, "What’s wrong?" I can only shake my head, smile, kiss him lightly on the lips and walk toward the bathroom in my sheet.